I often use this drawing to send to friends and family as a congratulation card for either pregnancy or childbirth. To me it presents just that, although the making of this drawing symbolize my grief.

My father once took this rocking chair from the side of the street. It was ready for the dumpster. It only needed a good painter to make it as new, and I always wanted a rocking chair for when Ramon and I would have a baby. My father knew that, so he gave it to me. I painted it as smooth as a baby’s bum, no brushstrokes visible. I upholstered it so when I would sit by its bed, I could sit comfy for the hours I imagined, watching our little bundle of joy. With a one haired brush I painted a tiny logo for a finishing touch, and every time I sat on the chair, I slowly cradled my hopes and dreams.

So when we learned that we couldn’t have children, on top of everything else we had to digest at that time, I only wanted to sit and cradle my grief with big silent tears in the middle of the night. It wasn’t until Kuzco, that I could fully enjoy the chair for just what it was, a chair. And I didn’t mind it anymore that is was used as such.

Now when I look at the chair, I feel happy. I made some good memories while rocking that chair. My little puppy needed rocking too, and I could still hum my lullabies to someone falling asleep on my lap. And I could still sit comfy for hours, watching our puppy making his cute little barks and twitches while he dreams.


sleeping puppy Kuzco