Its Sunday morning, the early rays of sun are filtered through the lace curtain. Ramon lies beside me, and is still fast asleep. Today the wind carries the morning wakeup call from the rooster from the park to our window. You can only hear it when all the other background noises are muted down because they too, are still fast asleep.
It is the time I love most of all the day. It is still so pure, and honest, and it is the time where I can stare and softly touch his skin without him knowing. After all these years I am still in aw with his handsomeness. I know every new gray hair, the sound of his breathing, every twitch of his face while he is dreaming. I still have to pinch myself when I am at this moment.
This is the most beautiful person to me, in the whole wide world. And I love that in this pure and honest moment, his body reacts to my touch, even though he is fast asleep, and he pulls me tight when my hand brushes against the lines of his skin. The gentle but sturdy pull you feel when you are loved by the other person. I always have to sprinkle him with little butterfly kisses, so I won’t break the silent moment of this strong emotion between two souls that are so intertwined with each other.
That is what we are. Intertwined. Not what my second therapist accused us of. A doctor/patient relationship, that was unhealthy and had to stop. I was so hurt by her statement, and made me doubt our bond together. She made me doubt many more things about myself, but that was something I needed at that time, to get stronger in my own believes I think. And now I really know she was only mistaken in her words, by only seeing it from her professional point of view. But I would rather call it the deep and purest form of love. The kind of love, where you respect one-another, be strong when the other needs it, and can show weakness when there is the need for, and stimulate each other, to be best that they can possibly be, so you can be the most beautiful soul that makes you glow from the inside out. And that is what I believe, the light that people see in ones eyes.
So this beautiful Sunday morning, I again, gaze at his face. I softly brush his hair sideways, and follow the line of his strong eyebrow. I can’t wait to start the day with him, but first I snuggle a little bit closer to him, close my eyes, and draw his handsome face with my finger in the air. And with a smile I know, that I know every line of his beautiful face.