Today is prep day for tomorrow’s colonoscopy, so no eating and only drinking that horrible stuff to clean my bowels.



To take my mind of feeling even shittier than I already feel, I stared at the flowers I got from my nephew, while I was looking at the photo’s I made, from a few days ago. My sister came over for dinner with my nephew Dante, and nieces Angel and Charlie. My sister had asked if we could eat my homemade spare ribs any time soon. Ramon almost immediately  agreed by saying yes, because much to his opinion we eat homemade spare ribs fa-aaaar to less.

So we set a date to eat spare ribs together, and for my nephew, who doesn’t eat anything unless it’s fried or pizza, I would make spaghetti. He promised me he would eat that, instead of the everlasting fries with curry.

I was really looking forward to it. The spare ribs had marinated for two days, and I popped them into the oven early in the morning of our dinner date, to cook them low and slow. So the only thing I had to do that would require only a little extra energy, was making the spaghetti. I was planning on making it together with Dante and Angel. I thought the interaction of making spaghetti together, giving them each their own tasks in chopping, kneading, and stirring, would make it a lot more fun to eat the spaghetti for Dante.

But the only one who ended up helping me in the kitchen, was Angel. She was all hands on, and so full of enthusiasm, asking questions, mimicking my moves… I think the kitchen was radiating a golden glow coming from me. I loved this moment so very much, it was like a dream come true. Standing in the kitchen with a little girl loving food just as much as me, watching and learning, and eager to do it herself.



We had to eat at the coffee table sitting on our knees, because the whole house is somewhat like a construction site due to a heavy leakage in the washingroom/office, which Ramon is fixing at the moment. But it made it all the more cozy. It felt like picnicking, only indoors.



For desert we had a strawberry milkshake with fresh strawberries. And to make it extra yummy for the kids, especially for Dante, it was decorated with a sprinkled donut and cream. Off course Angel helped picking the strawberries, and was almost psyched when she made it all the more delicious with putting the donuts on top.



She couldn’t wait to serve them, telling her mom in full detail how she helped. She told me it was the best spaghetti, spare ribs, ánd milkshake she ever had.



Even Charlie her pretty little eyes popped open of surprise when my sister gave her a little sip on a straw. My ego was lifted so very much, it boosted my almost depleted energy.

What made my heart jump even more, was when Angel asked shyly at the end of the evening, if she could stay with us for one night. I hesitated for a moment, and looked at Ramon. I was so overrun with emotion, I didn’t want to say no. But would it be wise, with my energy being so low at the moment. Ramon winked me and nodded; why not? I’m here as well. It will be fine.

So for the first time in my life, there will be a child sleep over at our house. Again, it is like a dream coming true. But there is also a little fear in the back of my head, if I can make it through, because I can’t take more meds, and I desperately not want to scare or discomfort Angel when it doesn’t go well. But it is a fear which is covered with a thick layer of excitement. And Ramon said it will be fine. I will hold on to that.

I almost can’t wait till Friday. I should be feeling a lot better by then. Two days after the colonoscopy. And it’s a nice distraction. I’m thinking of all the things we can do, and even think smart on how to preserve my energy and still make it fun and special for Angel.

Yesssss….. I have some great ideas!!!!! You just wait little girl…..



To be continued.