Ever since we received an invitation to attend an 12.5 years wedding anniversary party, I was looking forward to go. Exited even.


I knew exactly what I wanted to wear when I read the dress code. The bride would wear her wedding dress again, and it would be fun if all the married women who are invited, would wear it too. Provided that it still fits off course.


I loved the idea!! How many other times do you wear your wedding dress? Seeing I don’t have mine anymore, I thought of my special dress. The one I wanted to wear at their wedding day as well. But due to my starting days of Crohn’s disease, I felt terrible that day, and wanted to wear something safe to run to the toilet, and change if needed. So I didn’t wear the dress. But now, 12.5 years later, I get a rematch!



I took my dress out of the closet, and checked for any wear or tear. The dress is 20 years old, and we had suffered some unwelcome family of moths in our closets, a couple of years back. But it still looked great. I took my wedding shoes out of their box, and smiled. At least one authentic item.


Ramon had a barbeque with his work on Friday, and Saturday would be the anniversary party. I would have loved to join the barbeque, and see everyone again, but I had to choose between the two. With a limited amount of energy, I couldn’t do both. So I followed my heart.


I wanted to make them a wedding cake. A small version at least. After a whole day of sleeping and taking it slow on Friday, I wanted to make the cake in the evening. Ramon was still at the barbeque, so it was a perfect time for a little Chopin and Debussy to accompany me in the kitchen. I put on my Wonder Woman shirt for some extra boost, and started pottering about.



I was having a blast!



But by the time Ramon came home, I think I was having a blast too many. We both looked at my creation, and the only sound that filled the room, was the wind created by Ramon his eyelashes when he blinked.


‘Hmmmm…. Yes, you have been busy I see. It’s nice. But you have made more impressive ones in the past…’ he said carefully, not to upset me much. I brushed some icing powder from my nose, and took a deep breath… which made me sneeze. ‘Yes, I think you are right… I think I got a little carried away with all the sugar and the music. Maybe I can write something on a card saying; This cake represents marriage. Not perfect, but a lot of love and energy has gone in it to make it work.’ I put it in the fridge, and told myself not to be such a perfectionist. It looks fine…. and will taste fantastic.


To be honest, it looked terrible.

(Very conveniently I haven’t made any pictures of it.)


And I just couldn’t let it go. I tossed and turned all night, and finally decided I couldn’t give them this horrible piece of cake. It would seem like I didn’t care for them and just ruffled something up. So I got out of bed at the crack of dawn, and made a new one.



Five hours later, I woke Ramon for breakfast and coffee, and showed him the newest version. I was exhausted, but I was finally content with the result. Later that day we shopped for some final details and a platter to put it on, and we were ready to go.




I felt beautiful wearing my dress and wedding shoes again.



We found a sweater to wear over it, that still looked nice and would keep me warm, as it was held in the garden. I put my make up on, and smiled at my “looking-good” face. It’s been a while since I looked at that face, and it felt good.