I’m looking down at my hands. The blood is pumping through my veins. I stretch my fingers and then squeeze them into a fist as tight as I can. There is still some residue left between my fingers,  of the life energy I squeezed out of Ramon.  With a Hulkish strength I pressed him into a ball that I put in my motor jacket. That’s the only way I can keep him safe with me.

I start the engine with a few growls leaving the exhaustion pipes. I know I can do this, I have to!

With my jacket pulling tight on my arms, I put my screen down of my helmet, and take a deep breath, and while I exhale, I go.

I feel the pressure of the speed against my chest and my arms. The adrenaline makes me squeeze the bars even harder, and I push through the gears to go as fast as I could get.

As soon I reach the mist of the presence, I push the button that unlocks the swords, that now stick out to pierce through anything that comes in my way.


I ride into the mist of presence, and I won’t let it brake my guard. I am made for this! Nothing is going to take Ramon away from me.

Rootch, slash, kill, zap!!!

I reach for my pocket to feel if it still holds the energy ball. For a second I feel a smile on my lips, releasing the tension on my jaws.

But it’s only a second, because I have to pull it together to push through the pulling arms coming out of the mist. I want to reach the point of nothingness and everything. That’s where I can be whole and happy again.

My muscles are all tensioned up, and I breath heavily of all the slaying, while driving a 155 mile per hour.

I’ve reached my final destination, and hold the ball carefully in my hands. I walk to a small fall, and let the energy ball fill up with water to become its full size again. When it bubbled up, I recognize his beautiful face. I touch his face, and while my face is closing in on his to kiss him, I feel the tears running down my cheek.

And then I woke up.

Tears were rolling down my face, and I felt a little piece of stone wondering in my mouth. It was a piece of a tooth I most likely had broken in my sleep. I forgot to ware my mouthpiece when I went to bed.

Why should I, I can’t sleep for days now. Even the new bought slat and mattress we got from Ikea two days ago, didn’t even help me sleep any better.

Until now. And boy, was I dreaming!!!

And boy, did I look like an as kicking, all super powered up, hot chick in character as the Ghost Rider.

But while I dried my tears, and spit out the piece of tooth, I turned over to watch Ramon.

A sigh of relieve made my chest relax. Yes, he was still breathing.

Why am I acting so silly, it was just a dream! And while I stared at the ceiling with my mouthpiece in place, trying to fall asleep again, it hit me.

I realized why I couldn’t sleep all these days. Even I seem to have lost trust in Ramon’s body. Not only is Ramon having a hard time dealing with his body failing, but I seem to as well. More than I thought anyway, because apparently I was scared to fall asleep, making sure he would still breath.

Glad with this new inside on my currant sleeping disorder, I tucked closer to Ramon. We are going to have a great day later on. Making detailed pictures of cows, as study for my new painting, while driving through the countryside. Yay!!!

So no strange and stupid dreams again, just sleep…




Everything is gonna be alright….

Fun stuff ahead!!