I was so looking forward to yesterday evening. I was going to babysit my two nieces. Ramon and my sister were going to the movies together. My nephew had a sleepover at grandma’s, so it would be just us three girls. All day through I took it slow. I only walked the doggies, and then rested, and slept a lot. There was no option anymore of taking more meds, like I usually do when I’m going to be with the kids. But I had a strange sense of trust it would all be okay. I was not going to do crazy stuff with them, just chill out. Play a game together, or I would let Angel be the little makeup artist she is, and donate my face as a blank canvas to paint. I was convinced Charlie would sleep anyway. There was a weird calm over me, which I have never experienced before, especially when I know I would be alone with a baby.



My sister explained everything what and how I had to do things with baby Charlie, and then they went off.

I had such a great time! Angel was the sweetest girl in the whole wide world. She really was the big sister, who helps mama out. She knew exactly what to do, and corrected me if I did it wrong. Charlie was a little grumpy of the cramps. So every time she cried, Angel kissed her, and told me to rock her, and pat her on the butt, because that was what Charlie liked. And it worked. We changed Charlie’s diaper together, and she sang Twinkle Twinkle Little Star to sooth her little sister when I made a bottle.

We drank tea together, or rather, I drank tea, and Angel drank sugar with a drop of tea. But… she had an orange on the side, so that balanced it a bit…. We played a board game together with Charlie, who cheated off course. Meanwhile Angel made pictures and video’s with my phone,



instructed me to look at her and not to the flashlight, wise little girl,

and made her own update in an app to my sister and Ramon. One containing 54 emoji’s, clearly she experienced a lot of emotions, and one with carefully chosen letters, because she can write you know…. She’s five!


Translated; I’m doing fine mommy.

But when she saw the picture Ramon send of a bag of M&M’s with cola, she was outraged! So we decided to make our own cinema together. She closed the curtains, shared her plaid with Charlie and me, and snuggled on the couch. We watched a movie with popcorn and chocolate cookies with Smarties on top, and because she was not tired at a-aaaaaaall, I tickled her back making shapes with my finger to guess what I had drawn. I was graced with kisses and hugs, and she told me Charlie was happy. ‘Good for you auntie Joycey!’



I wasn’t physically active in any way, but when Ramon and I were driving home, I felt so tired. But I felt so happy. It couldn’t have gone any better than this. It was everything I hoped it would be. It was a perfect evening spending one on one with Angel. I really had the most wonderful time.