Finally! After a month of waiting, I could pick up my necklace at the jeweler store. It needed some repairs for probably two years now, but brought it for repairs only a month back, because I desperately wanted to ware it again. I needed it.
It’s weird because every time I don’t feel well, whether it is physical or mental, I want it around my neck. And now that it’s been repaired, I feel happy. I thought about it, because why is it so important to me? And this afternoon, while walking through the park with Kuzco, I got it.
I wasn’t brought up religiously, my parents believed it was up to me what I wanted to believe in, instead of being indoctrinated what you should believe in. But it was always around, religion that is.
And when I became a teenager, I needed something to believe in. And I turned to the Jewish religion. I was very dedicated, as I always am when I set my mind to something. I even had talks with a rabbi, because I wanted to fully dedicate myself. My parents stood by me in every way, and even bought me this little golden star of David.
But somewhere across the line, the dedication faded, but never the hart. I still wanted to believe in something. But it is until now, that it’s finally is clear to me. What always sought after, was believing in myself. And that is the only religion that requires dedication, yourself.
But why do still hang on to my little golden star? Because it stands for survival. I want to be a survivor. I want to survive all the hard things life can throw at me, and all the steps I make difficult for myself because I believe I have to endure it to overcome it, and be better than I was before. So every time life gives me a little too much lemons, my little star of David is my talisman for survival. To remind me I am strong enough to face, and overcome any difficulty that crosses my path.