Love, honest caring, and making someone feel important. Every time it happens to me, I am amazed of the power it holds. And it makes me cry of happiness, I am finally open to receive it.
But every once in a while, especially when I have enough to carry emotionally and physically, I close down, and make myself believe I am not good enough for anything, which immediately give people whom sense this kind of weakness, take advantage of it, and I bow down to the feeling of in-importance and not worthy enough. Even though I am working my ass off for years, to change my perspective on life, and especially myself, it’s strange I still haven’t learned to stay strong in self-love and self-confidence, and I give people room to hurt me. I hate it, but apparently in my weakest hour, it still feels safer than to be loved and feel important enough.
This birthday I almost let myself slip into to the old familiar coat, but people whom I love so dearly, made sure I stayed reminded of being important enough, and loving me for me.
So this birthday, the one I never ever in my wildest dreams would dare to think when I was 23 would come true… turning 38… people around me made sure I stayed strong in my new self-love.
Off course my handsome husband, made me feel like a queen, and bought me a present, which we agreed we wouldn’t do. A pair of shoes holding Lucy and Snoopy on each shoe, giving each other a kiss. I told Ramon during our holiday in Italy, that were the only Vans I liked for me, after he bought some cool Vans for himself.
In hindsight, these shoes even holds a powerful message for me, beside being so utterly cute. With Snoopy being Kuzco and Lucy being a me, I could use one or two trades from her.
My love for Kuzco is immense; so a girl kissing a dog represents me loving Kuzco. But the character of Lucy is the total opposite of me. Whilst she could do with a little less, I on the other hand could use a little more of the Lucy character. So every time I wear them now, it reminds me of loving myself more, as well as loving the ones I love deeply.
All that in a pair of Vans….. who ever knew…..
Happy birthday dear 38 year old me!!!
And thank you ever so much to the people who made me feel so very special!