What a strange morning this is…
It’s funny how habits are stronger in fooling your mind, if only for a minute, that everything is still the same. But it certainly is not.
I’m missing one more cat in this picture. Morning wake-ups mean, two dogs and two cats, swirling around my feet for me to make breakfast. But today it was two dogs and only one cat.
Benjamin wasn’t quite doing well this week. But because his second and last name is mister B. Sicker Mc-Sickerson, we are used to this, and always know he will feel better in a few days. Even so, we keep a keen eye on him when he feels like this.
But this week it was different. Instead of staying the same, or maybe even feel better every next day, he only gotten worse. Adding the fact he lost some severe weight, stayed at the same spot in the center of the hallway almost all day through, this was not a behavior we ever seen before.
We worried. Extremely.
So off to the vet on Wednesday evening. He was so very weak. The vet gave him some fluids, because he was dehydrated. With a little hope and prayer, this would make him feel a bit better, and would make him strong enough for a blood test the next day. When we came home, he laid down at the same spot he done the last few days. But when I walked into the shower, he followed me, and telling me a whole story with miauws. I sat on the floor, and he immediately sat on my lap, loudly purring and cuddling. We sat there for half an hour, and then I got a last nod with his head against face, for him to return to his spot in the hallway.
The next morning he really seemed to do better. He swirled around my leg, and followed me around to give him his breakfast. He had to stay sober for his blood test, so with a disappointed miauw, he went to his pillow. I got so hopeful seeing him acting like this. I gave him a big kiss, and tried to put him in his carrier. But unlike the ease I put him in yesterday, today he resisted fiercely. Another sign for me to be hopeful.
But when we got the call from the vet later that day, it was the worst news I could have hoped for. The test results were bad, very bad. So the only thing we could do for him, was to put him out of his misery. His whole life, ever since he was a little kitten, he wasn’t a very healthy cat. But for 13 years he managed to bounce back every time he got ill. My little Benjamin-Ben…
I whispered the words I always say to him to make him feel at ease to let go of life, and I promised him I would write and draw one last story about him. But to be honest, I think that was more important for me to make that promise to him, because that would be the only way for me to let him go.
I miss him so much already…