The lovely early morning wake up, with the frost making the most beautiful flowers at the bottom of the bedroom window. Sun has just come up, and gives the ice flowers a radiant glow, making them even more beautiful. I hear some early bird scratching the ice from his car window, to start his day.

I have to start mine as well, but I turn around to spoon one last time against Ramon, and wait for the alarm clock to go off. But apparently my body did not agree, and I burst in terrible cough and released all the mucus. So I had to get up and grab for the tissues. That’s when the first sign appeared, that this start of the serene cold snuggling kind of morning, was going to be stained by the terrible ways of having a common cold gone bad. My eyes didn’t want to open further than the first crack, so I stumbled out of bed, making my way to the bathroom to take a look.

Holy Cow!!!!


How a face can go so horribly horribly wrong….

Thank god for being half blind, because the shock was way too much to handle.




The charming face of a bad cold. Lips cracked, a dry irritated spot under my nose, Casper-white, and now even my eyes all swollen.

But then I remembered last night. Perhaps my thick swollen eyes are not only from the cold, but maybe the movie I watched was partially to blame as well.

I couldn’t decide what I wanted to watch, so after scrolling through our library, I decided to finally watch The Notebook. It never really appealed to me, but somehow after reading the cover, I got curious.

Boy, was I not ready for that…. Although on the other hand, this was perhaps exactly what I needed.

I cried my eyes out. It wasn’t even pretty anymore. Even Kuzco, who always loves to watch movies with me, was at his wits end. Seldom do I cry in this manner during a movie. But there was just so much recognition, and the realisation of what’s to come. And maybe this beautiful story, so beautifully played, opened my grief for loosing somebody whom is still here. I put my anger over my hurt. I miss somebody who’s features are still there, and tiny bits of the person itself comes to surface once in a while…. But this is a new person growing in a familiar shell. And even though it still feels terribly unfair, I think this outburst of tears could be the beginning for me, to deal with this in a better way.