“I can’t let him go.” I said crying. My hands were tight around the cardboard jar that holds Kuzco’s remains, pushing it against me.

‘Well, you’re going to have to at some point of time. I know it is the last tangible memory of him, but it’s just a cardboard jar.’ Ramon said with equally teared eyes. “Let’s get inside, and get some coffee.” He walked to our door and was greeted by happy to the extreme- little Malha.

I looked at the navy blue jar. It’s only a jar, it’s only a jar, I whispered softly. I took a deep breath and got out of the car.

 

After my second cup of coffee, I finally warmed up a bit. I looked at all the frames and printed drawings of Kuzco that were scattered on the kitchen table.

 

joyce painting

 

“Yes, I really am going to do this. I feel a bit nervous about it though. I would never have done it, if it wasn’t for Kuzco’s passing. But I want everybody to see my sweet and funny little cocker spaniel. I am going to place them on our windowsill, to join the Facebook group Kunstjacht Velsen. We are not starting yet with our kitchen renovation anyway, so in the meantime I can use our kitchen window as display.” I looked up at Ramon to see his reaction. His eyebrows almost got lost in his hair, but quickly they returned to his normal position and he smiled his biggest smile. “This really isn’t like you at all. But I think it’s a great idea. All I can say is, finally.”

 

windowsill

 

As a crazy person, I walked upstairs to the living room, holding the navy blue jar tight against me, and softly spoke to it as if it could hear me. “We will take you to the beach sometime soon, so you can play with the wind and sea. But I will also keep a tiny bit for myself if you don’t mind. You see, I just love you so much, that I can’t fathom not having you around me anymore. As you are, and will always be my muse, my little prince, I want you to still inspire me to write, draw and paint. With a little of your remains processed in a ring, you’d be as near as you could be, anytime, anywhere.

 

Kuzco staring

 

But for now, I hope you don’t mind to stay here for a little while, until we are ready for a nice day at the beach, letting go of the last bit of you.”

 

cartboard jar

Comments

comments