Christmas morning, and I’m sitting on the floor next to the warm stove, the little lights in the Christmas tree gives a gentle glow the still gloomy morning light. And I am feeling worried…

My little bundle of joy has curled himself up on a pillow we put next to the stove, not to snuggle, but to warm his body that’s shivering from pain.

We’ve been to the vet Saturday, late in the evening. He suddenly couldn’t and wouldn’t want to move, and when he did, he walked with his back curved like a rainbow. We still don’t know exactly what is wrong with him. It may be his spine, but it very well could be his prostate. His prostate felt a little swollen after the vet’s  examination. Which may be caused by the chemical castration he had three weeks ago, that causes  a high level of testosterone  in his blood.

I feel horrible.

If that’s the case, I feel guilty as hell. We decided it would be the best solution to still go to Paris, in case Malha has her first cycle right then and there. That would mean, Kuzco is suffering because of our wrong doing. At least, that’s how it feels.

He looks so small, sad, and full of pain. It makes our hearts bleed for him, and feel so very powerless. Not at all in a Christmassy spirit. The only thing we can do to comfort him, is keeping him warm, and give him his painkillers. We got enough to cover Christmas-  and Boxing-day, and even got morphine if that isn’t enough to make him feel better. Thank God the painkillers work well, and he shows definite signs of improvement. But when it wears off, he immediately is full of pain, and curves up like a rainbow.

We give him a thousand and one cuddles, and kisses along, and our hearts start to sparkle of hope and joy when he wags his tail, straighten his back, and smiles again, when the painkillers work their charm. A sort of little Christmas gift. But Wednesday we will go to see the vet again, just to make sure what’s wrong with him.

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