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Work in Progress

Maandelijks archief van januari, 2017

26-01-2017

 

I am enjoying myself so much!

I see the puppies every day, but on Tuesdays and Thursdays I have them all to myself. They grow so fast. I can’t believe the changes they make within days. They are all doing wonderful. They mainly eat kibble and raw meat now, and drink water from a bowl, where they now only occasionally blow bubbles  through their noses  while drinking, instead of constantly. Their flappy ears are getting bigger, although they still are cute little triangles compared to Kuzco or Maya their ears. Their tails  constantly waggle, and just now, I saw the curl of a pigs tail emerge at the end of their tail. I always loved that on Kuzco’s tail. It stays a pigs tails end up to 6 months, and then the hairs on their tails will grow into a beautiful waving flag. They all had their own faces  to begin with, off course, but now their characters  are starting to blossom, so we can pretty much tell them apart by face.

 

 

Ramon and I both love to shoot pictures of them, and Ramon always has the camera at hand when we both are there, making the most beautiful close-ups I’ve ever seen. But when it is puppy-sitting day…….

Well…..what can I say?

 

 

I can’t control myself in making the funniest and silliest puppy shoots.

 

 

Yesterday, I got the idea to do a sort of Harry Potter photoshoot. I saw a baby photoshoot on the internet inspired by Harry Potter, and I fell in love. I didn’t have the right colors of felt to use for the props, and my pot to put the puppies in, was copper instead of black casted iron… but it inspired me non the less, to use the subject for a shoot.

 

 

 

My cheeks  were glowing, and sweat covered my forehead, but I had a jolly good time!

 

 

 

When I send the photo’s to Marja and Ramon, their  response was full of smiles.

 

 

When Ramon and I walked Kuzco that same evening, we thought of all sorts of ideas  to use for the next  silly photoshoot.

 

 

 

So now I am painting a piece of wood I have just saw, and I am already giggling, thinking about how fun this one will turn out. I have bought more felt, so I can make all the other things for the next photoshoots. This Friday they will be five weeks old, so I will have at least three silly photoshoots ahead of me.

Yay!!!

25-01-2017

I know I haven’t been writing for a while. I am taking my psychologist’s advice at heart.

I’m being more kind to myself, and just take it as it comes, which means for now, my head is stuck on puppies. And I don’t mind anymore. This whole puppy experience will only last eight weeks, and then there will never be such a wonderful opportunity as this in our lives. So I intend to enjoy it to the fullest.

But I do want to try other things to do and complete. And when I stopped focusing at the anger of disappointment, I suddenly got more things done than I did before. I have cleaned the house, I’ve made long walks with Kuzco, I have been drawing, even designed and ordered a fabric with my work on it, to make a pillow of it for the new dog bed for Malha.

 

 

So I also wanted to start training again last Saturday morning with my dad. Everything went so well anyway. In my mind, I still was as fit and strong as I was when I trained about six months ago. Hell, last year I only trained as much as I can count the fingers on my two hands.

But, I still was convinced I could start where we left off, I was eager. Well……that turned out wrong….. I was exhausted doing only one exercise per muscle group. My body shook heavily, and the whole world was spinning around. After I finished the last exercise, I couldn’t focus my sight to one clear image anymore.

When we got home, I crashed on the chair staring out the window, feeling disappointment boiling up again. Just when I was so happy I was going to work out that morning…..

Ramon sat next to me, and without saying a word, we stared at the playing dogs outside, together. I leaned in towards him, with my head on his chest, and let out a deep sigh. My eyes focused on a little plastic Superman, with a string tied to the curtain rod.

 

 

‘You put way too much weight on trinkets.’ He said, while he noticed my change of view, and gave the plastic figurine a nudge.

‘Hé, stop that!!!’

That came out a little too harsh than I wanted to, but  I was angry when he made my Superman dangle fiercefully.

‘He is like a Jesus on his cross to me, my good luck charm for desperation, which is my basic feeling kept dormant deep inside of me nowadays. But instead of Jesus giving you a feeling of guilt because he hang for you to do better, Superman gives me hope to do better and not give up. That’s why his little arm is facing upwards. So stop making him swing so hard, it will make him tumble!’

While I made my argue, I sat up straight and gave Ramon my angry look. But it didn’t hold long, because he started to laugh, and said with his arms holding up with a dramatic gesture;

‘Holy San Superman!’

I laughed as well. Not the same reason Ramon laughed, because he still thinks it’s silly, I need a talisman to give me strength and hope. I laughed, because it’s kind of a cool name. It’s funny, but makes the importance of that little trinket very clear.

So every time I wither away in my hopeless opus of despair, I look at my ‘Jesus’, and whisper to myself;

‘I can do this, San Superman.’

 

12-01-2017

 

I have set goals for this week. I was so angry with myself these last few weeks for not doing anything what I set out to do. I felt like such a big failure.

 

 

I know I have to be more kind to myself, but when I want things done within a timetable, I want to at least do 50 percent of it. And I have done nothing. Only enjoyed the time together with Ramon and seeing the puppies, done family stuff and hospital stuff, and recharged myself to do it all over again.

 

 

But from this week on, everything has to change.

 

Period.

 

I was on the right track on Monday, doing everything I planned to do. Even though it took me until late that evening to complete. I started making plans for Tuesday, when Marja texted me that night, that three puppies really stayed behind in growth. And she was getting concerned. She has  never strike me as a panic-monger ever, so I got a little nervous  when she asked me to come the next morning and help feed the puppies  by hand. Off course I dropped everything I was doing, and forgot my to-do list at once. All I wanted to do, was to help out where ever I could.

One of the three puppies  that weren’t growing as much as they should be, was our little puppy Malha. When I arrived, Marja gave her to me. ‘You go feed your baby first, then when she’s done, you take the next one.’

 

 

I hoped she didn’t feel my worry, but apparently my face couldn’t hide it. I was so happy Malha eagerly dipped her whole face into the warm milk we had poured in little bowls you use for chips and dip. She made tiny little smack noises, and drank all the milk it contained. I even felt her wet snout and tiny little tongue suck the milk she spoiled over my hand. I was thankful she was hungry and ate.

 

 

Thursday I had all the puppies for myself. Marja had to go to work, so I could feed them all alone. I loved it. Maya lost her interest in feeding the puppies that night before, so I was under the impression I would certainly be busy for some time with the puppies. But when I was starting to feed the third puppy, Maya looked at what I was doing. It was as if she looked at me with those motherly eyes saying; ‘Dear oh dear, this is not going really fast, is it? …. Sigh….. Just open the fence, I will help you….’

 

 

So together with Maya I fed the puppies. I helped the smaller ones to a nipple and stay put for a while. And let the bigger ones wait their turn. When they all were done, Maya stepped out of the nest, to tend for herself. I just sat there, my eyes glued to the puppies.

 

 

When I noticed the smallest one was shivering again, it just reminded me that she was just like her daddy. Kuzco has always been a chilly dog himself. So I took her on to my lap with a warm pillow filled with rice, and within moments she stopped shivering, and fell into a deep sleep. I think I just sat there for at least 45 minutes. Softly cradling, and gently brushed her neck with my fingertip. I could just sit there forever. I loved this quiet serene moment, with the other 8 puppies making little mumbles and twitches while they slept all tugged up together, and me just feeling all tension leaving my body, and almost falling asleep with the smallest and troublesome puppy from the nest.

 

 

Tomorrow they are three weeks old already. Time really flies  when you’re having fun. We’ll probably have another photo-shoot. We want to give the new owners some nice memorabilia when the puppies are ready to leave the nest. So we are making weekly photo’s to show their progress.

 

 

We use a little suitcase Ramon and I got for Christmas from my parents. It is going to be Malha’s first doggy bed, whilst she still is so tiny. It still needed a pillow in it, so I went through all my fabrics I have stored at the attic, and found a perfect fabric-sample that matched the colour of the suitcase. I added a detail that would perfectly fit with the world map the suitcase was decorated with, of a Cocker Spaniel  flying an air plane. So now it is totally puppy-proof. Cute, sweet, pretty and cuddly.

 

 

Can’t wait to see them again, and make the most adorable pictures again.

 

 

And all my other stuff I so eagerly wanted to have done this week, just faded to the background.  Just as my psychologist remembered me again today; ‘Don’t be so hard on yourself. When you have been able to achieve just one thing from your to-do list, it is always better then not having it done at all.’

 

 

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Joyce Kleine – Work in Progress