A perfect time and reason to finally sit down and write. I’m sitting in the waiting area in the hospital. Ramon has started his physical therapy this morning, and I wanted to join him for some moral support.
When we got into the car, he took a deep breath. ‘ I’m nervous. I don’t know why.’ Then I really knew I made the right decision. He told me more than once that I really didn’t have to join him, because I would have to wait for an hour, let alone the drive to the hospital and back home again. That would cost me a quarter of a day of energy, at least. But I really wanted to join him. I always appreciated the time Ramon was able to join me at hospital visits, and now I could give a little of that in return.
So here I am, waiting for Ramon, and making good use of time.
The days go by in an instant, and still I haven’t done what I set out to do. Other things are of more importance to me now. Things like being there for Ramon when he needs me, joining him in his daily walks,
relax together in the park,
or on the beach,
hoping to unwind him,
And make him smile a bit…
Joining in his little adventures to seek out where his new boundaries lie, helping him cope when he has exceeded them.
Making sure the house stays nice and clean, and try to do everything by myself, unless he wants to join me. I also try to do things I like to do for myself. But most of the time, I am just too exhausted to actually work out something I planned to do. So when Ramon is asleep during the day, I sleep as well or crash on the couch watching my favorite TV show.
But with each day at a time, Ramon is getting better in getting to know and accepting his new self, and so do I, in letting go of tiny bits of worry at a time.
So for the last week, I finally did work out some of the things I wanted to do.
I started to paint, which I love. And I have created a nice brick wall in our fireplace. It was something I wanted ever since we made the fireplace, but never figured out exactly how I wanted it.
My body is still aching. The new meds aren’t working yet, which is very frustrating. I try to ignore the pain as best as I can, because it isn’t helping me keeping my back straight. So I will have to kick my own ass, and take care of myself by dividing my energy carefully between taking care of Ramon and myself, and try to stick to my own boundaries.
We have been making the most of our time. We’ve done so many wonderful things in between the resting and processing what’s happened. And we have still some weeks ahead of us while he is recuperating at home.
With me finally getting the hang of not over doing the caring business ….
I love it!