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A perfect time and reason to finally sit down and write. I’m sitting in the waiting area in the hospital. Ramon has started his physical therapy this morning, and I wanted to join him for some moral support.   When we got into the car, he took a deep breath. ‘ I’m nervous. I don’t […]


  I’m looking down at my hands. The blood is pumping through my veins. I stretch my fingers and then squeeze them into a fist as tight as I can. There is still some residue left between my fingers,  of the life energy I squeezed out of Ramon.  With a Hulkish strength I pressed him […]


  Months gone by, with not a single spark of inspiration to draw or paint, or come up with ideas for new stories… Until two days ago. My fingers started to itch. I wanted this happy feeling work down on paper. I haven’t felt it this strong in so long. I just had to draw. […]


I was little miss eager beaver this morning. I woke up as if I had been run down by a truck, but I was happy, and was looking forward to the coming day. I wanted to do many things, but first I had to do something I rather dreaded. But even thát didn’t mind, because […]


Yesterday was my 37th birthday, and I’ve started my new year in the most horrible way, by focusing on the negative…   Even though it was a lovely day, I just couldn’t get the happy birthday feeling sink in. And that bugged me. Everybody did their best to make me feel like a birthday girl, […]


  I drag myself forward. It feels like my eyelids are scraping the floor when I walk. Yesterday I went to the hospital to meet, again, a new appointed doctor, and to talk about my test result and the next following steps. I’m not quite sure if I like my new doctor. I’m getting so […]


  It’s been a crazy couple of days. Ramon came home on Thursday. Everything went better than expected, and he would recuperate much faster if he were at home. So before lunch he called me to come pick him up. He already packed his bag, and sat there waiting on the side of his hospital […]


  Day three. I finally stopped crying. It was starting to get on my nerves. Without any control over that particular bodily function, I cried literally all day through. My eyelids were three times their original size. Come on already!!! But today it seemed to have dried out….no argue here what so ever. Because a very […]


  Sigh…. I’m staring at my fridge, watching all the great and wonderful things we did together. I feel the tears burning in my eyes. I never ever hoped it would ever come to this, but it did. My rock, my hero, my everything, has been struck down. With screaming sirens he’s been brought to […]