Work in Progress

Maandelijks archief van april, 2016


Making good use of time.

I’m sitting in the waiting area of the hospital, I come to areas I’ve never been before.




I love how hospitals nowadays, put lots of effort in making the surroundings as pleasant as possible. And this waiting area has got it all. Colours, happy paintings, a coffee machine ( which I spotted after only being there for three hours already…), and a children’s play area I am totally in love with.

In specific a cabinet that looks like a big trunk with all kinds of magic drawers, wooden books, different kinds of fabrics to touch, a keyboard to play on, and little people with instruments made from paper placed in 3D, that probably will move when something opens, or when you play the keyboard. It just has everything I love. And the longer I look at it, and believe me, I’ve taken a very lo-oooong look at it, the more I want to make one for myself.


childrens cabinet


I already took a picture, so I can copy the things I like. I would love to have a little version in the living room, so I can put the fish tank on top. My mind is working overtime how I would like it to be. I think instead of the little paper people, I would use the drawings of Kuzco, Spooky, Benjamin, Jools and Bruce. And instead of a keyboard, I would like a xylophone in happy colours. I have plenty of fabrics I could use to touch and feel the different materials. And all the different little boxes could be storage for the few toys we have for kids.


paper people



the more I think about it, the more I am convinced how perfect it would be, and how wonderful fairytale-like it would be, standing in a room holding all my books, and my workspace to create my drawings and paintings.

What an inspiration it would be!!!

And how lovely Bruce his golden scales would go with all the happy colours and designs. As if little Bruce is the rabbit in the magicians hat. Or Cleo, standing on Gepetto’s workstation.

I hope Ramon will share my enthusiasm, and maybe he would like to help me make it possible, like all the wonderful ideas that pop in to my mind from time to time, and becoming reality due to our great teamwork.

Who knows…. And maybe you will see an up-date in the near future, containing this very subject.


I’ve always had a thing with colors, patterns, and fabric. I remember when I was four years old, my parents redecorated my room. Burgundy and white. I was so happy. I loved the wallpaper with little burgundy flowers on it. Still to this day I can visualize it all in full detail.




And yesterday my memory didn’t fail me again. My aunt asked me if I was interested in her rug she once made herself. I could still picture it in my mind. I loved it as a child. The rich colors, the pattern. I hadn’t seen it for a while, because she moved the rug to the bedroom. But now she was ready to throw it away. My uncle stopped her just in time. She already had it stuffed into a big garbage bag. Thank God for it, because I was overjoyed when she asked if I was interested. I replied a little bit too eager, I really wanted it so bad. I was already typing an apology for my eagerness, when she WhatsApped me back, ‘Good, then it’s yours now.’

Sometimes when I’m so happy, I just can’t suppress a loud happy squeak. A real girly one. And this was such a moment. I was on my way down to go to the park with Kuzco, so my happy squeak was extremely high pitched followed by a long echo. My feet were jumping fast. One could describe it as Space Biking, but I rather call it the Happy Dance.


So yesterday we picked up the rug. It was rolled up, but I could immediately see, that it was exactly as I remembered. I couldn’t wait to take it home.




When we did, I smiled. Yes! This was it… all the rich colors and pattern. And every color matched our interior. I send a picture to my aunt and uncle, and my uncle replied, ‘as if it always been there.’

I felt so happy. A rug, almost 40 years old, complimenting an interior as if it was brand new. And the best part of it all, it was made by my aunt.







Well, here we are again.




I dreaded it a bit. But in my mind I knew exactly what I wanted to say, and do, if my doctor would react poorly. But she didn’t, even when I told I wasn’t happy about our last meeting. She listened, and reacted accordingly. So I have a lot of tests ahead of me, but within the next month we can rule out a couple of things that could be the cause of my exhaustion and perhaps the answer of currant pains.

So even though nothing has changed the problem for now, there will be some answers soon.




I sent Ramon a WhatsApp, telling him of my visit to the doctor. It is funny how technology can make a person be so close while so far away. He sent me a picture of his view from the hotel in Bucharest. 29 Degrees Celsius, he wrote with a smiley, but in my opinion that’s about it, that could make it feel like a holiday. “You could well be a news reporter visiting a warzone.” Was the only thing I could write back, when I looked at his picture. But then he sent a picture of himself, with a question attached, ”Shirt tucked in or out?” And my frown immediately turned into a smile. Again… so close, yet so far.

He called me in the night, when I was fast asleep, to wish me a good night, and asked me if I could call him in the morning to wake him. He had a, but most likely, a couple of beers to many, and feared he would have trouble waking up. So half past six I made the call, only to be hanged up twice. The third time I called back, I yelled ‘Ramon, wake up!!! Ramon?’

Kuzco crawled underneath the blanket, his eyes half open, wondering if he had missed something. He was sure he never saw Ramon return after he went away with his suitcase. But you could see Kuzco was hoping he was wrong, because he got up to search the house. After all, I was calling Ramon’s name.

Ramon finally woke up, apologizing for mistaken me with the snooze button. When we hung up, I snuggled deep into my blanket. Kuzco had finally given up. He couldn’t find Ramon anywhere, so he jumped on the bed, and pushed the blanket up with his nose, and spooned against me.

Not ready to wake up yet…


on the dock


A perfect spending of a last day before Ramon goes to Romania for a week. We had to buy some new socks and shorts, so we decided to go shopping in Amsterdam. It was a super relaxed day, and off course I got a little emotional. I can really cry about anything these days. So my eyes teared up when I looked at him, and thought about missing him. Truly strange, because I am so looking forward to be on my own for a few days. I have always loved to be by myself. Before I met Ramon, I did everything on my own. Go to the movies, going out for dinner, etc., etc. But for as long as we have known each other, we seldom are a week apart from each other. So actually, we are a pretty mushy-mushy couple, and I spotted watery eyes on Ramon as well. All though he could have used the excuse of wind blowing in his eyes, because we stood on the ferry. Anyway, that only lasted 75 seconds on a whole day of laughter. So instead of a mushy-mushy couple, we are a just two loving souls….

Or does that sound even worse?



I am going to enjoy myself this week, by doing everything in my own pace. Waking up at the crack of dawn, go to bed early, eat all the things that makes Ramon grossed out, eat dinner at the dining table, watching old classic movies, all kinds of little things I don’t do when Ramon is home.




I know Ramon is going to have a great time as well, even though he is there for work. So after a great and cozy afternoon in Amsterdam, I ironed his shirts, polished his shoes, and we packed his bag together and drank a glass of wine, cheering on us both for having a great week.


Appointment number one, check.

They will keep me in surveillance, because it still doesn’t look good. Will have to continue the treatment, and I will have to have a keen eye on any birthmark that trouble me more than all the other erratic birthmarks. If so, I can come by immediately, otherwise wait till our next appointment. So for now nothing changed much, except for some clarity, and that by itself is reassuring.


barbeque sauce


Saturday was a good day. A family lunch with my brother in law and his wife, my mother in law, and Ramon off course. We lunched at a Landgoed Duin & Kruidberg, an estate of exceptional beauty. Unfortunately the weather was bad, so we couldn’t sit on the terrace, but we had a lovely time just the same. We pre-celebrated both birthdays of my mother- and brother-in law. The food was exquisite, the wine tasteful, surroundings beautiful, the restaurant itself stylish and elegant, but not over the top. We even got a homemade barbeque sauce as a gift when we left.

But the finishing touch was the company. It was a nice, loving, and fun afternoon. One of many in the near future I hope.




Worry, that is what’s dominated my thoughts for today. I am still very tired with lots of dormant seizures. I had so hoped it would only be one retribution day, but apparently today is as well.

But that didn’t cause my worry, only agitation. The scale however, did.

This morning I stood on the scale, and again it told me I had lost some weight. That shouldn’t be possible, I drink all my medical food, which is still the only security in holding on. I eat solid food regularly, but do have more trouble with keeping it down. But still, that shouldn’t be the cause of losing all that weight.

I am glad to see the doctor tomorrow and another one on Monday. Hopefully they can reassure me, because this is really making me nervous. Together with all my other pains and complaints, it makes my mind restless.

Tomorrow I will hear if the hormone treatment was positive. My birthmarks are still acting erratic, but maybe some stress can be the cause of that. Monday I can talk to my Gastroenterologist, I think my Crohn is stable, but my stomach is really acting up. I just hope they can give some reassurance. I know I have to deal with some pains, and I know them by now, but when they change, I start to worry. And I just don’t want to worry.

Funny thing is, that when I came back from walking Kuzco in the park, I walked on to my neighbor from downstairs. And like I said before in 2-03-2016, it was like I needed to meet her on the stairway. After talking to her, and telling her my troubles, when we parted I felt much happier. Still have the same worries, but now I was able to write it down, and felt as if the weight of the worry, wasn’t as heavy as it was this morning.


Our balcony was painted last winter, or rather, paint has been puked all over. I was so disgusted by their manner of work, and how they left it behind when it was so-called done, that I couldn’t care less about redecorating the balcony anymore. Plus the fact that we wanted to buy a house, it didn’t seem relevant to put a lot of energy in it.

But we can’t buy a house, because of all the new rules the government made up. And now that the sun is shining more frequently, and the temperature is slowly rising, I would like to sit on my balcony again.


drilling machine


So I have been busy. I have divided all the work that had to be done into two days, and now it is finished. When the sun is shining, I can lie butt naked in the sun if I wanted to, and I have planted all kinds of vegetables and herbs in the planters.

Even though it was not an awful lot of work, it sucked me dry. Tomorrow will most likely be retribution day, but it is okay. I will have to wait for a package to be delivered anyways, and hopefully I feel good enough tomorrow to sit in the sun and watch my vegetables grow.




joyce kleine


I printed a picture from Facebook containing all the things you need when you are camping. My friend who’s joining us to Italy, tagged my name to make me smile. They are all camping experts compared to me. I have never ever camped in my live, but I do have a strong aversion on the matter. The whole idea of a stinking tent, in which you can only move by crawling, bugs everywhere, running across a camping site with your own piece of toilet paper when my bowels are acting up, let alone having to throw up. No, not for me, I think I would hate it.


It’s a cheap way to go on a holiday, so with a tight budget you still can go to a foreign country. And Ramon always says, ‘you can’t say you hate it, if you’ve never tried it.’

So we are going camping in Italy. I’m looking forward to it, as well as being a little afraid. Ramon has arranged a camping site with a private shower and toilet, to take my worries away. And instead of using our own little tent, we have rented a tent with all the necessary accessories included. And it will be a miniature castle of canvas. One so large, we can stand in it, and even put the two bikes in the awning. Ramon really did his best effort to make it as comfortable as possible, so it won’t be too much of a shock, and I really will have every excuse to hate camping.

With each day passing by, and seeing pictures of the surroundings of the place we are going, and the funny picture my friend send me, I get more and more exited.

So that’s why I printed the picture. I taped it on our fridge. The fridge is my happiness symbol, my little light in darker times. All the things we’ve done that made me happy, proud, or feel special, I tape on the fridge. So every time I walk by, I get a glimpse of my life, and how beautiful it actually is. Something to look forward to in the worse days, and something to look back at with the grateful feeling of being able to have experienced it all.

This is definitely one to look forward to, and make me smile every time I will see it.

Oh, and to remind me to buy a guitar….

because camping, guitar…. duh




What a perfect day! I couldn’t wish for anything better than this. I woke up with a bright morning sun, and…


a slight downer…

a cat puking all over our bed.


that couldn’t put my happy feeling down, and after cleaning it, ( will be throwing it in the laundry as soon as Ramon wakes up), I went down through my usual morning ritual.

Then we went swimming…. At least that was our plan. But it seemed more like an obstacle run for the Ninja Warrior race. After swimming up, over, under children, and tossing away huge rubber doughnuts, and put our deflector shield up when we past the terrible stinking water-bouncer for flying kids landing as loose cannons, we became more and more annoyed. Where there is supposed to be two lanes for lane swimming only, and the rest of the pool is for recreational swimming, kids were acting like fruit flies, they were e-ve-ry-where!

So after our obstacle race for half an hour, we were done. And every child that was crying in a nagging way, we wanted to trample and ‘accidentally’ push into the water. But we got a hold on ourselves, and just left.




When we got home, I took a hot shower, warmed up, and cuddled with Ramon and Kuzco, until we decided to go to the park. We packed our bags bringing, wine, glasses, water, a bowl, a plaid, and our camera. Sat down on our favorite bench, and enjoyed the sun, the wine, Kuzco, and each other.




It was the most perfect day. We laughed so much, cuddled so much, and kissed so much. And not to mention the endless time of throwing the ball for Kuzco. I can’t wait for all the warm, sunny days to come, where we can copy/paste this day on all of them.

Story of the same bench I wrote last year, park bench






Ramon is riding his new bike right about now. After two weeks of bad weather, and twisted ankle, he is driving for the first time this year. And meanwhile I’m admiring the freshly colored drawing that I made for my new story.

ant with furcoat


It’s a good day. I haven’t been to the gym, because it’s a chores day, so it’s closed. I wanted to do something at home to compensate, and ended up doing yoga with a bright morning sun shining on my face. Everything has been stretched and re-stretched, and my lunges feel they can hold much more air than they did when I woke up. I kind of regretted I couldn’t put myself to the workout I had thought out for this morning. But in hind side, focusing on my breathing, and stretching my sore body, is just as important, and surprisingly satisfying.

For now, I’m going to draw a little while longer. The sun is still shining, so the light is perfect as can be. I love these two seasons, spring and summer. Nicer days, with warmer temperatures, so a less painful body, and good drawing light.


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Joyce Kleine – Work in Progress