Work in Progress

Maandelijks archief van februari, 2016


wonder woman


We have been swimming. And I loved it. I didn’t know how much I missed it, until now. I haven’t swam since 8 to 10 years now. I was not welcome in three of our local swimming pools after having seizures while swimming. Ramon was always there to keep me above water, but I made the other people who were swimming there, feel uncomfortable. So no more swimming for me. Until today.

We went to one of the same swimming pools, and they just let me in. We didn’t expect otherwise after 10 years, but still I was a little nervous.

And there I went, in my new bikini. My one and only Wonder Woman bikini. I got it as a Christmas gift from Ramon, and didn’t expect to wear it so soon. I was hoping to wear it for the first time with a little colour on my skin, not with my treasure map legs. White as milk bottles covered with little red and blue coloured veins, especially when it’s cold. And it was! It was icy cold after the nice warm pre-shower we had to take before entering the pool.

My body wanted to make itself as small as possible, but I remembered my father’s words in the gym. ‘Stand up straight, chest up, shoulders back. Then you look like a bird of paradise, something to be seen. Never ever keep your shoulders down, then you look like a sad little birdy. It makes a world of a difference Joyce!’

So I entered the pool with my back straight, and chest up, meanwhile poking everyone who passed me with my steal pointy nipples. But I didn’t care. My Wonder Woman bikini rubbed a little of its mighty powers off on to my body. I felt great!!! And once my toes felt the water, I couldn’t wait to dive in and actually swim. I knew then and there that I missed it so much. All went well, and didn’t have a seizure this time. So we will go again soon, and personally I can’t wait!



O my gosh, what a great party it was! Precious family time, with lots of laughter, cake, presents to open, and a lot of silliness.


kuzco and angel


kuzco and angel


Kuzco didn’t know where to go, look, and play anymore. There was too much of everything going around. So he decided that the main focus for today should be cake. Eat as much of it as you can. Stay focused, don’t let any piece get out of your sight, and put the best begging face on that you possibly can.




I think the mission was successful.




But what Kuzco doesn’t know yet, is that there will be a week of green beans following, to compensate for all the deliciousness of the last three days.

Aaawh …..



Again, a day of preparation. Grocery shopping for the after-party on Sunday, and then baking apple pie and cake to put the birthday candle on. The kitchen smelled so good.




Later that evening we put on our fancy clothes and sprayed on some perfume, to go to another birthday party. It really is a party weekend.

Monday is going to be so dull.


Somewhere after twelve o’clock midnight. Ramon came to bed. I always wake up when he does, and then we snuggle together. But this time, we both started to sing. Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you… very silently off course, not to wake up the neighbor down stairs.

I don’t think Kuzco appreciated it much. He lifted his head from my arm, blinked his beautiful brown eyes, frowned, muttered a bit, and then stood up to leave my chest, and curl up against Ramon his feet. But we on the other hand loved singing the birthday song for our little boy. We smiled and kissed each other goodnight.


diaper bag


diaper bag


In the morning Kuzco and I took a long walk. I packed my bag, and started to feel a little emotional. It is Kuzco’s ‘diaper bag’. I made this bag when he was a puppy that has all the right pockets to store usable doggy things. Water bottle and dish, baby wipes, tick twister, spare ball, treats, etc. So this bag is now 9 years old. Suddenly I had mixed emotions, I was so happy about his birthday, but felt sad he is nine already. I terribly dread the moment he should leave us.  But that thought and feeling only lasted about 0.3 nanoseconds, so you have to read that part very fast.




Then I had to leave to the hospital, and all went smoothly. So when I came home, I went to bed to rest together with Kuzco off course. When it was time to start dinner, Kuzco joined me in the kitchen and kept his eyes on the steak when I cut it in little chunks, and moved a little closer when I took the French bread out of the oven to cool on a rack.

I decided to make a table cover using copies of the drawings I made of Kuzco and covered it with plastic foil. Set the table for three, and pinned balloons on the birthday boy his chair. As if he knew what we were up to, he jumped on his chair, and waited there till Ramon came home.




We had a lovely dinner, and off course I had to cry again. I have a lot of happy tears. I cry on many occasions. Even simple moments when Kuzco and Ramon play tag together in the park, my eyes start to well up. We smiled and couldn’t stop smiling. Kuzco was a true birthday boy, and enjoyed all the attention, and his birthday dinner.


dinner served



Tomorrow is Kuzco’s birthday, but also a busy hospital day for me. So to make it as enjoyable as a can, I made all kinds of preparations. Grooming Kuzco, shopping for decorations, DIY-ing decorations, baking cookies. Fun-fun-fun stuff!










At the end of the evening we will hang all the garlands and balloons in the living room. I so love when it’s his birthday! I think this is still one of my processing of not having children of my own. He is just as happy as a kid, he loves the garlands, especially when they are laying on the ground ready to be hang, and loves the balloons to play with, and all the treats, and presents to open. So our little boy turns 9. Not so little anymore, but lucky for us, doggies stay puppies until they die.

Tomorrow we will sing, and play, and cuddle. And when Ramon comes home from work, we will sit at the table, the three of us, each having a steak, French bread, and garlic butter. It is going to be an awesome birthday!!!






Confession Tuesday;

I have a bad case of telephone phobia. I’m embarrassed to say, but I really have. And the last few weeks it had become worse again. I hate to call someone on the phone. Whether it is a friend, family, or an official call, I will postpone it to the very last moment. And when I finally get myself to dial the number, sweat pores out from even the strangest parts of my body. Parts you probably didn’t even know could sweat. When the person on the other side answers, I get a hot flash, and stumble over my words. And that’s just only the ‘hello’ part.

Ramon helped me face my problem, to let me make every call there was to make. When it was an important call, we made an sticky-note, and even did role playing games to practice my stuttering and persistency. And it worked. I still hated it, but when there was a call to make, I called.

But like I said, the last few week it’s gotten worse again. And the only way to overcome fear is to recognize it and then just act on it. So today I made some phone calls to some companies and the hospital. I didn’t stumble, and barely stuttered, only had juicy armpits this time. But that made my ‘Eye of the Tiger’- dance look even more convincing, when I hung up the last call. As stupid as it may sound to normal people, I was pretty damn proud of myself today. So it’s only a matter of time I will make a random call, and just say; …..same as we do every night Pinky, we try to take over the world!!!


I love the east and south of the Netherlands. Everything seems to be the opposite from the west. It literally is off course, but even life seems more exuberant and the people are friendly. They make you feel welcome, and you are treated as a special guest.

We went to the east of the Netherlands for the weekend. It was our dear friend’s fortieth birthday, and is was celebrated at the local pub. It was nice to see everybody again. We could bring Kuzco as well, so we put on his tail-coat and little polka-dot tie, and he stole the show.


after the party


Unfortunately I couldn’t stay till the end of the party, my head split in two after 15 minutes. It was crowded, hot, and the noise stayed at one place. So my energy dropt like a fly, and after an hour and a half I had to leave. Our hotel room was next to the pub, so Ramon carried me and Kuzco to the room, so we could sleep. Ramon went back to the party, and even danced on clogs!




The next morning we were invited for breakfast at our friend’s parents house. The first time I’d ever been there, I was blown away and totally in love. The house has a porch, with brown leather Chesterfield’s around a fireplace. In my imaginary dream house there is exactly such a porch as this one. Cozy, comfy, and utterly charming. And this was where we were going to join our breakfast together.

It was raining cats and dogs, and it was rather chilly. But the fire was burning, and the porch was sealed with a canvas. This was the perfect way to spend a Sunday morning. Kuzco could run and play in the yard, and we could chill by the fire, before we had to drive a long way home again.



17/20 -02-2016

bag of flowers


I just don’t know what to write about. I have been so tired these last three days, that I just did what I had to do, and then only sleep.

Today is supposed to be the gym morning, but I had to cancel it due to the exhaustion. We have a birthday party tonight, and I really want to be at my best for Ramon and the birthday girl. So logical conclusion is to cut my activities short, to spare energy.

I know that’s the best choice to make, but the last three days were so mentally stressful, I could have used the time in the gym well.

The family matter ended as well as it could be, but will be an ongoing story for a while I think. Somebody is ill but doesn’t want to believe it, and still doesn’t. So dinner was nice but frustrating as well.

I had to go the pharmacist twice due to delivery problems, to the GP, and two days later to the hospital. That was yesterday. I went alone, a nice occasion to test my fixed mobility scooter. It was the nicest weather I could ask for, to take my test drive to the hospital. Cold, but sunny, a perfect combination to take deep refreshing breaths along the ride, and let the sun boost the level of my Happy/Calm bar. I was a little nervous, so when I saw my mother waiting at the entrance of the hospital, I was even happier. She brought beautiful tulips, a little ray of sunshine for the house. She knew I would probably be way too early for my appointment, so she decided to come and keep me company. It all fit together; The beautiful colorful flowers that now were in my bag, the small talk we are most good at (and I so enjoyed, while waiting to keep my mind off), and the warmth that came from the sun and from my mother’s hart. Time passed quickly. Before I knew it, the biopsy was taken and stitched, and I was making new appointments. We kissed and hugged each other goodbye, and I went home to sleep next to my beautiful, beautiful flowers.




I wish I could sit here forever. But on the other hand, I would freeze my but off once my hot water bottle cooled and my thermos of coffee was empty. So I just enjoy this serene moment while it last. I went to the park this morning. Kuzco needed to run of his energy after three non-park days. It is cold, and sunny and there is nobody in the park but me and Kuzco. Birds are singing, and the air smells of thawing wet leaves that are touched by the warmth of the morning sun. I took a thermos of coffee, and a hot water bottle with me, because I wanted to enjoy this wonderful morning for as long as I can. I sit on our favorite bench, and meanwhile play fetch with Kuzco.

It feels like the calm before the storm. I kind of dread the day that is before me. Family matters… but thank God during dinner.

The food will be so good. That will be a nice counterpart. I will take a last sip of my coffee, and then I’ll head on home and start preparations for dinner.

Lemony chicken pie with stewed pear on the side.


lemony chicken pie


Sweet, meaty, and a hint of salt and sourness. Just like family, sweet and meaty, with a little sourness, but because they all melt together when you take a bite and chew on it for a while, it is just how it’s meant to be. With a little effort, it’s perfection.


high heels


Manic Clean day. I have learned to stop my compulsive cleaning disorder, and taking it very seriously. I practically don’t clean anymore… At least, that’s how it feels to me. Instead of everyday with a toothbrush, and not having the energy to anything else, I clean once a week. And big chores once a month. And now I have time to do lots of other things. Nice, fun and enjoyable things.

There were a few big chores on schedule, but really didn’t feel like it for over two months now. So I really am getting the hang of it. But today suddenly everything got on my nerves. Monday is a waiting day. And double the waiting today, because my mobility scooter finally returns. So it was a good day for a miniature spring cleaning. Sun was shining, it was still cold outside, and had to wait for the deliveries. So manic clean day it was.

I knew I wouldn’t have any energy left once I was done, so I wanted to make the best out of this day. When I was ready to start vacuum cleaning, I put on my high heels, to make it into a calves workout. I did a good job. My calves feel pumped, the house is clean, got my medical food and my mobility scooter, and I looked pretty while doing it.


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Joyce Kleine – Work in Progress