Something has changed.
My mindset. I feel happier, lighthearted even.
And all it took was our very first fight. Ramon and I are together for 17 years now, and never ever have we had a serious fight. Sure, we have been angry with each other once in a while, but it always cleared up in an instant. So it never felt like an argument or something even remotely close to it.
But now we can finally scratch it down from our bucket list. Been there, done that….never gonna do it again. Nothing fun about it what so ever. I almost even lost my self-control. In my mind I had killed him in 50 different ways all in 1 second, but thank God the only thing that came out was a smashing of my key-chain to the wooden floor. I never know my true strength, so it left a significant dent, but it gets lost next to all the other dents in the floor, made from high heels. So it doesn’t mind much.
We both looked startled at each other after I smashed the keys to the floor, and I burst into a very ugly cry. I never quite understood when couples say they love to fight and then make up. I always believed a fight only exists when two people stop communicating with each other. So how can a fight be good, when it is an escalating manner of bad emotion?
And that’s exactly what was wrong with us. There are so many things crossing both our paths, and too much of them are things we need to learn to deal with, because they are not going to change or go away. But somewhere down the line, we just kept swallowing everything down, without really talking about what it actually does to one another. Something we’ve always done so well, suddenly took a pause. As if we wanted to try out the stupid way of having a relationship.
Yep…not working well on us.
We laughed afterwards how we even manage to do the stupid relationship thing all wrong. Where normal stupid people take children to heal their relationship, we had our second fur-baby and thén started to fight each other.
So we have decided we don’t like each other very much when angry, so not doing that anymore. You have to have tried everything in your life in order to say you either like, or dislike something…. It took a long time for us until we’ve tried this one, but now we know.
The next morning we both woke up happy. We cuddled each other as best as we could, with two puppies fighting who is first to give morning kisses. I haven’t felt this good and peaceful in my mind since a very long time. We’ve had a great weekend.
We’ve had our first day of puppy school with Malha, together with her sister Kae.
And then a lovely family time afterwards at the beach. Also Malha’s first.
Kuzco’s stitches were removed, and could finally walk around without having to wear his cone, making him a very happy doggy again.
Sunday morning Ramon took Kuzco and Malha out on d-daddy day. ( d-daddy because Kuzco is Malha’s daddy, but Ramon is Kuzco and Malha’s human daddy)
They dropped me off with my dad at the gym before they went on their adventure. Even though I still am losing weight, feeling so much pain through my entire body, my mind was clear and happy. And I wanted to boost that happy feeling.
It was hard, but I felt great. After the thousands of ego boosting compliments my dad made while lifting, I even saw past all the gains I have lost, and felt proud of myself.
The rest of our Sunday was spend sleeping, and lounging on the couch with our puppies. We were all tired but happy.