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Work in Progress

14-04-2016

sketch9

 

Worry, that is what’s dominated my thoughts for today. I am still very tired with lots of dormant seizures. I had so hoped it would only be one retribution day, but apparently today is as well.

But that didn’t cause my worry, only agitation. The scale however, did.

This morning I stood on the scale, and again it told me I had lost some weight. That shouldn’t be possible, I drink all my medical food, which is still the only security in holding on. I eat solid food regularly, but do have more trouble with keeping it down. But still, that shouldn’t be the cause of losing all that weight.

I am glad to see the doctor tomorrow and another one on Monday. Hopefully they can reassure me, because this is really making me nervous. Together with all my other pains and complaints, it makes my mind restless.

Tomorrow I will hear if the hormone treatment was positive. My birthmarks are still acting erratic, but maybe some stress can be the cause of that. Monday I can talk to my Gastroenterologist, I think my Crohn is stable, but my stomach is really acting up. I just hope they can give some reassurance. I know I have to deal with some pains, and I know them by now, but when they change, I start to worry. And I just don’t want to worry.

Funny thing is, that when I came back from walking Kuzco in the park, I walked on to my neighbor from downstairs. And like I said before in 2-03-2016, it was like I needed to meet her on the stairway. After talking to her, and telling her my troubles, when we parted I felt much happier. Still have the same worries, but now I was able to write it down, and felt as if the weight of the worry, wasn’t as heavy as it was this morning.

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